Confusion
by Futile Resistance
Summary: Kyle has a confusing dream that leads to serious problems involving Eric. Will he get with Eric, his worst enemy? Side note: I am anti-Kyman :3 Sorry to disappoint!


I rolled around in bed. What? Why can't I dream of anything else? This dream sucks... Cartman is in it... Fat ass. Wh-what? WHOA. WHOA. WHAT THE HELL ARE WE DOING?  
"HOLY SHIT, DUDE!" I yelled at the top of my lungs, trying to escape the horrible nightmare that plagued my sleep. I was at a sleep over with Kenny and Stan, at Stan's house. Lucky my yelling hadn't woken anyone up. I noticed Kenny, sprawled out on top of me in his underwear.  
"Dude... get off..." I whispered. He didn't budge. "Wake up dude..." He giggled at pervy giggle.  
"Heh heh... who said I was asleep?" He looked at me with lusty eyes.  
"EW DUDE! GAY!" I pushed him off of me. "Don't you think my night was bad enough with all the nightmares about-" I stopped myself. I couldn't actually tell anyone about that... I mean, Cartman... He was in my dreams... They'd think I was gay for him. I shivered at the thought. Ewwwww... gay for Cartman... bleck.  
"Nightmares about what, m'dear?" Kenny purred.  
"N-nothing! I just-" I pondered for a second. "I was just dreaming of murdering my little brother! It was gruesome! It was a part of me I hadn't seen before!" Kenny grinned and pointed to my pants.  
"I see, so that's why you have a hard-on?" He chuckled.  
"MEEP!" I shouted, covering my pants. I blushed. "O-ok... so that _isn't_ what I dreamed about." I tried to avoid eye contact.  
"What did ya dream about then? You can tell me... Was it a three some with me and Stan and you?" I glared at him and thumped his in the head with my foot.  
"No..."  
"Then, what?" He asked. I furrowed my eyebrows. Should I honestly tell him?  
"Well... promise not to tell anyone?" Kenny nodded his head.  
"Promise"

...

"AHAHAHAHAHAHA! KAHL WENT GAY FOR ME?" I tried to hide my face from Cartman, whom Kenny had ratted to about my dream. "That's fucking classic, gay boy." He said patting my head.  
"IT WAS JUST A DREAM! AND I HAD IT ON ACCIDENT! I'VE NEVER LIKED YOU FAT ASS! I HOPE YOU HAVE A HEART ATTACK YOU FAT BASTARD! I HOPE YOU ROT IN HELL, YOU FATHER-LESS SON OF A WHORE! STOP CALLING ME GAY, I'M NOT FUCKING GAY! AND STOP WITH THE JEW HATING TOO, YOU SPAWN OF HITLER! I HOPE EVERYONE YOU KNOW AND LOVE GETS AN INCURABLE DISEASE AND YOU WASTE AWAY FROM LONELINESS! FUCK. YOU!" I panted. I had just went all out in Cartman's face. I had never felt so enraged before. "Well? *pant pant* Anything _else_ you wanna say to me?" He looked cold and stiff. And sad.  
"Happy birthday Kyle." My eyes widened.  
"Wh-what?" I asked, was he serious? I mean... I had totally forgotten my birthday...  
"Well, I know I'm mean to you... But I was always kidding... I didn't know you hated me with such a passion... Sorry." He honestly looked heartbroken. _Eric Cartman_ looked heartbroken.  
"I-I was kidding too, man!" I said, trying to patch up what I had seriously fucked up.  
"No you weren't. Sorry the gift isn't much, but it's all I could think to buy you. Happy birthday again." He walked off, looking gloomy.  
"Harsh." Kenny said. "What'd he get you?" I opened the gift.  
However bad I felt a second ago could not even compare to how much of a douche bag I felt like now. I looked down at the new Guitar hero game. He honestly knew I loved Guitar Hero. And he went out and bought it for me. "Wow, dude. You're a total dick head." Kenny said to me.  
"I know." I said. I really needed to apologize.

...

It was raining. And yet, here I was. Out in front of the house of my once worst enemy, Eric Cartman. I was waiting for him to get home, so I could apologize for earlier. I flipped out because... I'm not gay and I didn't want him to hold that dream against me...  
But that dream... what was up with that? Did I... actually dream that... on my own? Did I, Kyle Broflovski... have _feelings_ for _Eric Cartman_?  
Now, not only do I have to apologize... I have to tell him I love him. That's fucking grand. I saw him walking, umbrella-less, towards me. He looked up and me with a questionable expression on his face.  
"What's up, Kyle?" He said.  
"Ah, well... um... I just needed to say..." Crap. I was like, exploding on the inside. Corny movie lines. They would get me out of this! "Well... I think this would explain better than words..." I faked the lust and kissed him. I mentally puked. He stood there, totally un-phased by it.  
"W-well?" I said, totally blown away by the fact he didn't care.  
"Well, I'll have you know... I've been dating Butters for awhile, so you're kiss doesn't help your situation. And also, it's cool man. You could've just said sorry and called me a fatass." he patted my shoulder. "Thanks for putting so much effort into it." I was incredibly pissed.  
"WHAT. THE. HELL. I work up enough courage to show you how I feel and you turn me down? Dude, you have NOOOOOO idea how hard that was!" I said. He gave me a serious look.  
"You think that was hard for _you_?" He stared deep into my eyes. "I confessed to Butters. _Me_, the fag-hater. Think of how hard that was for _Me_." I gasped. "I thought so." He said, looking pretty serious still.  
"Well... I'm sorry for earlier. And for kissing you. I just can't believe that the person I go gay for is taken..." I stared at the ground. He smiled.  
"Ya know, Stan is single. He told me he really likes you. I'm blown away by the fact you haven't noticed." I blushed immensely.  
"STAN'S SINGLE?" I shouted in happiness.  
"Yup." He nodded. "But before you try to run off and confess, why don't you come in and dry off while the rain lightens up?" He gestured me towards the open door.  
I walked in, and first thing I saw, Butters. Curled up on the couch napping.  
"You weren't kidding about being with him..." I whispered.  
"Why would I kid about something like that?" He whispered back.  
I watched him wake up Butters and give him some medicine I hadn't noticed him carrying before. Apparently when we met up in front of his house, he was returning from buying cold medicine for Butters.  
He was much softer than I ever knew.  
Probably softer than anyone knew.  
Butters is so lucky.


End file.
